Ok, so I decided to come out of hiding and blog. I know everyone missed me. I basically just am doing a lot of rambling here, but here goes nothing:
Somewhere between last year and this year I feel like I have lost myself.
Or maybe not lost myself but lost my will to train.
I thought and I hoped I would feel differently once 70.3 training for
Raleigh started the week of January 14th. I thought maybe I just needed
structure and a pretty spread sheets to make myself excited about training
again. Unfortunately my feelings didn't change and just two weeks into training
I was just slugging through the workouts and missed 2 bike sessions and a swim
session due to a weekend wedding in Ohio. Normally I would be upset and or mad
at myself, but I enjoyed myself over the weekend and I don't regret for a second
missing those workouts to see one of my best friends get married and spend time
with my family.
Anyhow, I have really been second guessing myself as to what I really want
to do and what I really want out of this sport. Yes I still love swim - biking -
and running. I just feel like something is missing? Maybe that something is a
goal? Last year everything was a first for me. My first olympic distance, my
first 70.3, my first ironman. It was new, it was exciting! I had my eyes on the
finish line and my was goal was just to finish. And all the training I put in
felt amazing when I crossed those finish lines. Now, I almost feel like well I
have done those things, I reached my goal, what is next? Do I really like the
ironman distance, do I really care about my time, what should my goals be???
I have been frustrated with my running times and my swim never seems to
improve. I know there is a part of me that cares because well it makes me upset
and it makes me upset when I do poorly at a race. Hmm, I really don't know where
I am going with all this? I know it's only Wednesday but things seem to be going
better this week and I seem to be more motivated. I just hope and pray that I
can find what is missing and get myself out of this slump that has been ongoing
since Oct.
Happy Wen All and I hope everyone is enjoying the 70 degree Jan weather
:)