Ok, so I decided to come out of hiding and blog. I know everyone missed me. I basically just am doing a lot of rambling here, but here goes nothing:
Somewhere between last year and this year I feel like I have lost myself. Or maybe not lost myself but lost my will to train.
I thought and I hoped I would feel differently once 70.3 training for Raleigh started the week of January 14th. I thought maybe I just needed structure and a pretty spread sheets to make myself excited about training again. Unfortunately my feelings didn't change and just two weeks into training I was just slugging through the workouts and missed 2 bike sessions and a swim session due to a weekend wedding in Ohio. Normally I would be upset and or mad at myself, but I enjoyed myself over the weekend and I don't regret for a second missing those workouts to see one of my best friends get married and spend time with my family.
Anyhow, I have really been second guessing myself as to what I really want to do and what I really want out of this sport. Yes I still love swim - biking - and running. I just feel like something is missing? Maybe that something is a goal? Last year everything was a first for me. My first olympic distance, my first 70.3, my first ironman. It was new, it was exciting! I had my eyes on the finish line and my was goal was just to finish. And all the training I put in felt amazing when I crossed those finish lines. Now, I almost feel like well I have done those things, I reached my goal, what is next? Do I really like the ironman distance, do I really care about my time, what should my goals be???
I have been frustrated with my running times and my swim never seems to improve. I know there is a part of me that cares because well it makes me upset and it makes me upset when I do poorly at a race. Hmm, I really don't know where I am going with all this? I know it's only Wednesday but things seem to be going better this week and I seem to be more motivated. I just hope and pray that I can find what is missing and get myself out of this slump that has been ongoing since Oct.
Happy Wen All and I hope everyone is enjoying the 70 degree Jan weather :)